


(to the stars) the moon pleaded: stay

by Spencer_Grey



Series: It's Just The Coming Of The Seas [2]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Steelatom - Freeform, Whump, You can't change my mind, make them canon cowards, nate angst, they're boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 19:59:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18971986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spencer_Grey/pseuds/Spencer_Grey
Summary: Ray was kneeling in an instant, hands cupping Nate’s face and his voice cracked when he spoke. “Hey, hey, come on, wake up. Nate, please, open your eyes, please. Nate?”





	(to the stars) the moon pleaded: stay

Ray doesn’t swear. It might actually be illegal for him to swear, and somehow, after being surrounded by the most foul-mouthed team one could find, he hadn’t picked up the habit.

“Mama Palmer raised her boy right,” Zari had said.

But still, there has been a few exceptions to the “Ray can never swear” rule.

The first being when Ray time travelled for the first time. He muttered a small, “Shit,” as he regained a sense of feeling other than extreme nausea. Sara was vaguely aware of hearing it, but kept quiet once she realised Ray had the cleanest vocabulary she’d encountered. Sara had met children that swore more often than Ray, and when they were alone, she liked to tease him about it.

The second time Ray swore though. . . no one found an ounce of humor in that situation. Not that the Legends could even hear Ray’s, “Oh _fuck_ ,” through their comms over their boiling rage as they attacked, guarding both Nate and Ray as he ran for his best friend.

Nate shouldn’t have been there to begin with, but the idiot insisted. Claiming that he couldn’t just sit around on the Waverider and be completely useless, he needed to help in some way on the field. Sara only agreed because she understood how he must’ve been feeling. The villain of the week had robbed him of his use, and he was itching to get payback.

He was to stay back on Sara’s order, out of direct fire and stay near cover. As long as Nate’s powers were gone and he was still a hemophiliac, he was not to do anything stupid and get himself hurt.

She was definitely going to lecture Nate once he was okay. Ray kept that thought in his head. _Once_ he was okay, because he _will_ be okay.

Never mind the gaping wound on his side, never mind the fact that there was already way too much blood pooling around his body; nothing Gideon couldn’t fix, right? Ray couldn’t focus on the hissing whisper in his mind that said Nate wouldn’t make it in time to reach the ship. From the moment he watched Nate remain oblivious to the man sneaking up on him, some kind of gun raised, and he realised his suit’s energy blast came too late, Ray could only focus on him.

On Nate’s face when he raised a bloody hand and realised what happened, when he collapsed onto the ground, and when Ray came into view kneeling over top of him.

Despite his trembling hands, Ray’s instincts took over for his frazzled brain. He instantly put both hands onto the wound, pressing down on it as blood seeped through his fingers.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Look at me, it’s okay.” The physical pain in his side was nothing to the aching in his chest when Nate saw Ray upset, and the fact that he was caused it himself made it worse.

Ray almost smiled. “Pretty sure that’s my line.”

The pair was barely aware of the battle that was raging a few meters to their right. No harm came their way; the Legends taking every blasts and explosion before it could reach Nate and Ray.

Sara shouted something distant. Ray lifted his head to meet her gaze. She nodded, returning to the fight. Ray understood what she meant.

Nate and Ray had to leave now. The team would do what they can, but Nate would bleed out before the fight was over.

Looking back down to Nate, Ray almost swore again. Nate had paled, so white he almost looked dead and Ray knew they were running out of time.

“Alright, hang on buddy.”

Before Nate could protest, Ray was lifting him up; Nate’s right arm going over Ray’s shoulders, and his left hand was pressing on his own wound, covered by Ray’s. Nate half shuffled, was half dragged from the scene, leaning heavily against the strong body next to him as he listed through the symptoms of blood loss in his head, something to keep his mind off the fact that he was dying.

Cold and pale skin, rapid heart rate, weakness, shallow breathing. He had the lot, and he knew it would only get worse before Ray could get him back on the ship. But Ray was still hauling Nate’s half dead body away, and he would get him to the ship even if he was long gone.

He couldn’t imagine a better place to die than in Ray’s arms.

“You’re not going to die, Nate.”

Ray knew Nate didn’t mean to mutter that last thought out loud, but he addressed it nonetheless. Nate was not going to die, was not _allowed_ to die so soon, in such a painful way. Nate was not going to leave Ray, like everyone he loved always did because this time, Ray was more than prepared to fight, to do _anything_ to keep him alive.

They’d barely had any time together, and Ray suddenly realised he should’ve cherished those moments better. Not because Nate would no longer be around to create more memories, but because all that was keeping Ray moving was his memories; memories of Nate’s smile, his full body laughter that only came out when it was just them two, his shining eyes when he said, “I love you,” and Ray knew he meant it every time.

Ray knew that if he stopped, if he collapsed, and cried and screamed like he wanted so desperately to do because _Nate was not allowed to die_ , then he’d never hear those words again, never feel Nate’s arms wrap around him whenever he needed that presence. He’d lose the best thing he’d ever had.

So Ray kept moving.

The Waverider was in view now. Just a few meters before Gideon could erase any physical evidence that this ever happened, and Nate would be okay again. Anyway, Ray was only a few hours away from replicating the serum that gave Nate his powers in the first place. Everything would go back to the way it was.

Then Nate tripped and he fell from Ray’s grip.

Ray was kneeling in an instant, hands cupping Nate’s face and his voice cracked when he spoke. “Hey, hey, come on, wake up. Nate, please, open your eyes, please. Nate?”

After an eternity rolled past, Nate’s eyelid finally flickered open. He blinked a few times before his eyes fully focused on Ray.

“It’s okay.” Nate’s own bloodied hand reached up to hold Ray’s bloodied one. “There’s no serum to save me this time.” He smiled, the same sad, tender smile that Ray hated seeing; the one he used when he spoke about his childhood, about how lonely he’s always been but would try to brush it off.

Ray took several deep breaths, not trusting his voice as tears rolled freely down his face. “Please.” It was barely a whisper. “Please don’t go.”

“It’s okay,” Nate repeated.

Nate closed his eyes and let oblivion take him.

-

Ray sat with his head in his hands, Nate’s blood had dried onto his skin but he hadn’t found the energy to wash it off. The tears had dried too, even though all he wanted was to cry, he just couldn’t.

“Hey.” Sara stood in the doorway to the medbay, and when Ray lifted his head he saw that she still wore her suit.

The fight must not have been long over, Ray hadn’t kept track of time. All he remembered was his suit laying discarded on the ground while he broke down.

“How are you?” Sara asked, the elephant in the room would remain unacknowledged by her until she thought Ray was at least surviving. She couldn’t help what happened but she could help Ray now.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want company?” If Ray was ever upset, Sara would simply send his “boyfriend” to go cheer him up; but that wasn’t possible.

Ray shook his head. “I need to be alone, please,” he said.

Sara nodded. It wasn’t the time to push, and seeing Ray so _broken_ made her stumble, unsure of what her actions should be because it was never Ray she had to fix. More often it was Ray fixing her, being two of the last three original Legends gave them a closer bond.

Sara left without another word and Ray realised that the brief conversation drained him more than he thought possible.

He didn’t move for the next hour, only leaning back in his chair when his eyelids began to grow heavy. It was late and he needed sleep, but he had to be there, next to Nate; who was laid out on one of the medbay chairs.

He looked peaceful there. Gideon had erased the blood from his skin but the dark crimson remained on his clothes.

Ray found that he hadn’t dried up all his tears, he just needed a new reason to cry, because when Nate finally opened his eyes again, Ray almost thought he had imagined it through the tears that blurred his vision.

But after quickly wiping them away, he learned that he wasn’t seeing things.

This time when Nate smiled, it was only filled with relief and radiance. He opened his mouth to speak and at first, all that came out was a series of noises as he tried to figure out what to say. In the end, all that came out was, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

Ray had so much more on his mind than a plain greeting, but it seemed to get his point across well enough. _I’m happy you’re not dead. Don’t ever scare me like that again_.           
Ray placed his non blood-covered hand onto Nate’s.

Maybe when Nate had been awake longer Ray would attempt to understand the stark realisation that he had come across while he watched Nate unconscious.

But honestly, Ray had no idea what to do with the idea that he didn’t want to, couldn’t, live without Nate; in a non platonic, actually completely romantic sense.

For now, though, he was perfectly content with letting that go because all he really wanted was to stay there with Nate, hands locked together and the light, easy banter they shared despite everything. 


End file.
